You guys probably saw the shift coming long before I did. The shift didn't happen overnight but overnight, I felt it. I've heard you become a new person every seven years and although that may not be accurate as our cells renew at different rates, there is something about that hearsay I relate to. I have become a new person ... I am vibrating at a different frequency ... whatever, there is something going on here. Me, my world, is new. If you've known me for a long time you see it now — I am not the same person.
Things that used to matter, don't. Things that matter, well, there isn't much. Every day is beautiful and to be enjoyed. You can choose for it to be a good day or a bad day. You have a choice. You can choose to nourish your body or fill it with junk. You can choose where you are, what you do, what you say, what you believe. You can choose to be happy, sad, fulfilled, spiritual, higher, boring, exciting, radiating, darkening, empty, full, intelligent, narrow-minded, poor, rich, free, stuck ... It's all about you, or rather, me. This is the shift that has occurred. I have choices and I am the driver. The choices I'm making are new.
I reread my last blog post and this struck me: I wrote It's difficult to balance all I want to do and actually produce or accomplish something remarkable. That is such a bullshit statement! I already am remarkable! You are, too. It's not about accomplishments or producing. It's all about living. Accomplishments and productions are byproducts. Who is to say what is an accomplishment, anyway? Did you live today? That's awesome!
This also struck me: I wrote Honestly, at 52 I feel I haven't accomplished much in my life. I feel the need to "get my ass in gear." Really? Is this a race? Certainly not. Today I feel my life is absolutely great regardless of any so-called accomplishments. I am living! Yeah, I started that novel but I've put it down for now. I started a painting and I haven't finished it but I want to start another one and heck, I can. I'm starting a business, again. I'm starting a garden, again. I am a certified plant-based chef but my husband is cooking dinner tonight. So what? Am I living today? Yes. I. Am. Awesome.
Right now at present, I want to be fit — more fit than I have ever been — so my choices are exercising more, tweaking my diet. I am reading "How Not to Diet" by the one and only McGregor and walking away with solid information based on proven research. I am focusing on these things. It is taking time. It is taking a really long, frustrating, F'in time, but this is my choice. It is what I am asking for and driving.
Right now at present, I want to work, be more independent and contribute more to our household so I am starting an online business. I know I am capable. I know this will happen. I know my husband is a curated entrepreneur and can teach me what I need to do to be successful. Art is a really tough sell but I can make something new, spin it differently. Spin my love of art, plants, nature all together into something remarkably me. This is my choice. It is what I am asking for and driving.
Right now at present, I am starting the New Year off in Mexico — our ritual (my husband and I). It is so great to step back and think clearly with focus on where I want to drive each year with all of life's gifts. 2019 wasn't the year I had hoped with the loss of my mother but it sure did set me off spinning in new directions with road signs. I might have even lost some baggage along the way. Roll those windows down!
This painting I started for an upcoming show at the art center in my home town entitled "In Love With Cedar Key." The deadline to enter the painting is January 29 but guess what? I am in Mexico! There isn't any way I am making that deadline but here it is, my entry. This piece is called In Love With Cedar Key By Sea. It is half my entry actually because there is still another piece I want to do that features more that I love about Cedar Key by land. Anyway, I don't need to enter that show. I'm driving my own show, shifting into overdrive.
About that other half ...
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