I took one of those online tests to reveal the health of my chakras and well, the results stated my root chakra is blocked. My immediate thought was "duh." My second thought was that in all probability 99.9% of the people who take this test have some sort of disturbing "blockage," because the test is a marketing/sales tool. But it is my immediate thought that I am mulling over.
If you aren't familiar with chakras, learn a bit more here. Although raised Catholic, I tend to connect with the idea of chakras and karma and other Eastern spiritual philosophies. A Catholic sin I am certain, but I am not concerned because I have made up my own personal religion and my garden has become part of it. She teaches me what I need to know and the lessons I need to learn in life.
Not only is my root chakra blocked but my sacral, solar plexus, throat, and third eye chakras are weak. It seems I am a bit of a mess.
The "duh" part of my immediate thought is that I am seriously missing working and being in my garden. Working in my own garden used to give me so much joy, inner peace, fulfillment and those feelings or input, have been missing for nearly three years since I took my position as a professional gardener. So yeah, I'm feeling a little "blocked" in my connection to the earth on my own ground. My garden was a child of my creation and I've been watching her grow aimlessly without my guidance. I created her to feed the birds, bees, critters, and my soul, but now the neighborhood cats roam about her like demons because I am not there. (My furry patrol isn't there either - another loss.) I feel like I've let her down, turned my back. I feel guilty. I feel angry with myself and misdirect it at her. How awful of me. How sad for me to walk out into my ground which used to give me joy and peace and feel only disappointment.
I used to write about her nearly weekly in this blog. I would discover and wonder out there in my garden and delight in sharing it with you, but now that wonderment and discovery is diminished. I scratch out one little post a month and it is usually about what's blooming. Well, this month you're getting a big dose of my struggles instead – with myself and with the garden.
So, I have been struggling with my purpose in life, much like all of us. I am frustrated with how things are happening. I have been struggling with some difficult decisions. But I have come to a conclusion and it is going to be risky but I'm going to "go for it." It won't be easy. It will be humbling if nothing else. But my conclusion, or the thought of the outcome of my conclusion, makes me feel excited, passionate, motivated. AND I can't reveal it just yet — let's just say things have become clear to me while mulling over that immediate thought "duh," and my chakra test results ...
The root chakra: BLOCKED, survival issues such as financial independence, money and food. (Food is never an "issue" for me and it's obvious pudgy girl.)
The sacral chakra: WEAK, connection and ability to accept others and new experiences.
The solar plexus chakra: WEAK, ability to be confident and in control of my life.
The throat chakra: WEAK, ability to communicate with others.
The third eye chakra: WEAK, ability to focus on and see the big picture.
Hey, at least my abilities to love and be fully connected spiritually are open — helpful in my decision making.
The garden is struggling with not only my neglect, but drought this year. We have had very little rain. I have resorted to watering not only my vegetables but my perennials, shrubs and trees. The Bird & Butterfly garden is stunted this year. Normally Joe Pye and the Switch Grass grow in height above this window, and the Bee Balm midway. This year we need to use the blinds.
The plants under this young Red Maple are all wilted. That's okay since most of it is dreaded Bishop's Weed — now would be a good time for "attack." I am certain any Cardinal Flower, that prefers moist soil, is dead and gone. Notice the grass is brown. The grass is brown all over the neighborhood. A good reason to get rid of more of it!
I am drawn to the back garden where the Pin Oak offers shade. I remember when it was a mere stick! Now a surprised squirrel runs up this tree for "safety." I am hoping, and I think the squirrel is, too, that I may see a few first acorns this year.
The rustic arbor is leaning precariously from the weight of the trumpet vine but I hate to prune it now when so full of blooms! After the blooms have been spent I will give it a good shaping up.
I dream of sitting on my new patio nestled among the Potager, watching the hummingbirds zipping about the blooms. I have yet to actually "set" the patio pavers in crushed granite and sand. A project that will wait for some cooler weather. The Oak shades the patio in the late afternoon for cocktail hour. It remains sunny all morning for coffee. Two times a day I would like to spend there in the garden going to "church."
Whew, I feel like things are flowing again in writing this. On top of that, today I have a date with my garden so by this evening I should feel empowered and validated. My chakras should be spinning!
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